And Then There Was a Sign
by nikkihime
Summary: Yukito's going away, but before he left, he told Touya that he would give a sign....for what? and how? R&R please!


And Then, There was a Sign : a CCS fanfiction

By: nikki hiiragizawa nikki_hiiragizawa@rurouni.com

Genre: angst/romance

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: As all of my fics had said, I DO NOT OWN CCS! Anyway, I plan to raise a big pile of money and buy it someday……maybe two hundred years from now….^^'

Nikki: For once, I wrote a CCS fic that does not concentrate on Tomoyo and Eriol. This one is a Yukito/Touya fic. But, it is not really a yaoi fic. How did that happen? Find out! Read and Review onegai! Thanks you very much!

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Touya slowly gazed at his surroundings. It wasn't the perfect place, yet, it's nearer to the sky. He was standing at the Seijyo High rooftop. No, this wasn't his current school. But this is the perfect place.

For bringing back memories.

Out of his pocket he drew out an envelope. He opened it and retrieved a letter. This letter he had carefully written, will spill out his deepest feelings to a friend. A friend he had trusted with his life, his love, his memories. 

It is time.

Touya unfolded the letter, rereading it to make sure it is complete. He does not know whether his friend will be surprised or sad or happy, but it doesn't matter now. He sighed and began to read the letter he, Kinomoto Touya, had painstakingly written for his most precious friend.

Yuki, (it said)

It has been three months since you left. How are you doing? Sure, I cannot deny that I miss you a lot. If only I could make you come back. Anyway, I did not write to make you gloomy, too. I just wanted to tell you what has been going on ever since – ever since you left.

I sure can remember that fateful day. Soccer practice was over, and excited as always, I strode towards the bleachers to meet you.

"Oi, Yuki," I said, grinning as I saw you close your book and adjust your glasses. 

You smiled. "Practice is over?" you inquired, warily looking over my shoulder to make sure.

"Sure thing," I replied. "Want to come over for dinner?" You smiled wider and consented. I dashed to the locker rooms, anxious to be with you.

~*~

As we walked towards my house, I accidentally glanced at the person beside me: you. I was surprised as I discovered that something with you had changed these past few days with me not noticing it. You seemed to be a bit paler than usual and your eyes grew darker. Panic started to rise from within me as I remembered that you haven't been cheery lately, as you always had. You seemed so solemn and distant. Gradually, I became worried. We had been friends since heaven knows when, and you never hid anything from me. I even know about Yue, your angel – like later ego who keeps popping out even when Sakura doesn't need him. But now, there's something you aren't telling, and I resolve to find it out.

I stopped in a mid-step and whirled to face you. "Yuki," I rasped. 

You looked up, eyes questioning. "Nani, To-ya?"

"Is there something wrong with you these past few days?" I wanted to beat around the bush and question you without you knowing it, but my anxiety made me blurt out my words. 

You looked so innocent as you answered. "Nothing To-ya. Why do you ask?"

I enumerated the things I had observed as we proceeded to walk. I seemed to be joking back then, but deep inside, I felt great worry.

I was surprised when you laughed. "Really, To-ya. I was just worried about our midterms. You know I get nervous when these days come. I'm like this every exam day."

But not like this. I know how you behave during exams, but this is different. I doubtfully looked at you and you smiled. But why is it that I thought I saw you smile, but when I met your eyes, I see something else very far from happiness? Shivering, I shook the thought off and kept silent the rest of the way home.

~*~

My kaijuu imouto was already home when we arrived. With her was that Chinese gaki, Tomoyo-chan, and that Hiiragizawa. They all seemed to be glad that you were are joining us for dinner.

"Yukito-san, how are you?" Sakura gushed. They all crowded around you as you sat down. You really haven't come to our house often lately that they were breathless when they saw you.

"Tsukishiro-san, is something ailing you?" I heard Hiiragizawa-san say. His eyes were a bit worried like mine. There's something strange about his coolness and concern, but still, that boy had always been strange. 

You flinched a little but smiled. "I am all right. Why?" Now, the four youngsters were staring at you. I saw Hiiragizawa-san clench and release his fist.

"Tsukishiro-san," he started again. Just then, otou-san entered the living room.

"Dinner is ready. Come into the dining room." We all strutted towards the dining room. As I looked back at you, I saw you remove your glasses and wipe your eyes. Wondering why but dismissing stupid thoughts coming up, I kept silent.

~*~

"That was a lovely dinner, Mr. Kinomoto," you told otou-san. We all trudged back to the living room to relax. I was aching to bade you to come to my room so I could talk to you seriously, but I do not want to arouse suspicion.

"Daijobu?" I asked as you sat down weakly. You took off your glasses and glanced up at me. Your eyes were looking a bit glassy and your lips seemed to lose their color. I automatically laid a hand on your shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Just a bit tired, I guess," you replied. Sakura and the others were busy chatting that they didn't notice us.

This had happened before, before Yue lost his power. But there was no way he would lose power now. That stuffed animal of Sakura's said she is a bit more powerful than before, and she can support Yue. 

__

Tired, I repeated in my thought. My mind raced back to our activities for the day, searching for events that may have made you feel sick of stressed.

There was none. 

"Sumimasen, I must go to the bathroom," I whipped myself away from my daydreams. You must have been startled when my grip on your shoulder tightened, for I recognized worry in your tone.

"Do you…" I stopped myself. I was about to ask if you would need help in going to the bathroom. I wanted to accompany you to make sure you are alright, but that would have made you embarrassed.

"Do you…know how to go to the bathroom," I asked instead.

You raised an eyebrow. "Of course, To – ya. Why wouldn't I?"

Silly me. Of course you have memorized our house. I let you go, giving you an extra squeeze of comfort on your shoulder. You went out and I stared at the TV, not really minding it.

Ten minutes. You we're taking so long. I yawned. Weird. I felt really sleepy. I wanted to fetch you from the bathroom but sleep is taking over my senses. My lids drooped as I looked around, and my last conscious memory was wondering why Hiiragizawa-san was not in the living room as well……

~*~

A light tap on my arm woke me up from my dreamless slumber. I flinched, then I remembered you. I immediately stood up and surveyed the room. Sakura and the others were goggling at me.

"Gomen nasai, onii – chan," Sakura sheepishly said. "I must've bumped your arm as I passed. Sorry for waking you up."

I did not take notice of her apology. "Where's Yuki?"

Wonder of wonders, it was the Chinese gaki who replied. "He already went home. He told us not to wake you because you look pretty tired."

Out of habit, I grunted as Li-san spoke. Then I wondered about you. "You should have woken me up," I grumpily said. I returned to my seat near the TV while Sakura and her friends played cards. I hovered my gaze to them a few minutes later and as I watched, it looks like Tomoyo-chan was winning.

Right in the middle of the game, Hiiragizawa-san insisted that they should go home. Sakura reluctantly got her coat to accompany them. Just then, a voiceless command made me get my coat, too.

"It's dark and you kids might get into trouble," I explained as they all turned questioningly at me. The truth is, I wanted to check on you and make sure you got home safely.

~*~

It was a dark night, almost ominous. The sky was starless and the moon hid behind the clouds. Wind ripped at our coats, but nothing could outdo Sakura's cheeriness. They cajoled and teased each other, all of them lingering mischievously on annoying the gaki. Normally I would have joined in or told them to cut it out, but it seems I am not in the mood. 

"Let's go check up on Tsukishiro-san," somebody piped in. I turned to see who it was, and found out that it was Hiiragizawa-san. His eyes darted towards me, giving me a smile Sakura once described as dangerous.

"He lives nearby right? We could pop in and say hi as we pass by," he added, eyeglasses glinting innocently. 

Sakura was in rapture. "Yeah! Let's go see Yukito-san." She dragged the gaki while Tomoyo-chan laughingly looked on.

I feel eyes on me and I glanced and met Hiiragizawa-san's look. I could feel tension rising up in me, but I held my ground. Even though, that boy Sakura called Clow just smiled.

"Off we go," he darkly said before catching up to Sakura.

~*~

Your house was fully lighted when we arrived. Sakura and Tomoyo-chan ran through the gate to call you from the porch. I closed the gate and stepped towards your house.

"Yukito – san!" Sakura was practically yelling. She turned to me as if to ask what to do.

"Go in," I said. Maybe he is sleeping. He wouldn't mind." It's a bit hard to explain but at that time, my heart was ramming my ribcage furiously. As if in a horror film, we slowly slid the door to the living room open. And what I saw almost turned me mad with worry. My adrenaline reached its peak, punctuated by Sakura's scream.

You were lying on the tatami mat facedown, eyeglasses broken. There was blood on your hands, as if you have just coughed it up on your hands. I ran inside and held you on my lap, turning you on your back.

"Yuki!" I urgently called. I shook you. You did not respond. I moved my ear against your mouth to hear if you are still breathing, but all I hear are throttling rasps of air. Feeling your pulse, I found it quite faint.

We better take him to a hospital," Li-san suggested. For once, I agreed with my nemesis.

~*~

Like the wheels under your bed, my mind whirled as the nurses rushed you to the emergency room. The doctors blocked my way inside, and I slumped on a chair and waited.

There was nothing I can do.

Fear washed over my being. Suddenly, my world completely turned black and white. You are in danger. I couldn't help you. I know you need me. I wasn't there.

I felt warm tears spill. I am crying for you, yet I promised myself I won't cry again ever since okaa-san passed away. I am crying, for my only best friend is on the danger of disappearing.

Sakura approached me and kneeled by my seat. She turned to Eriol. "Can't Yue help Yukito-san?" she asked her friend, a hint of sorrow in her voice.

Hiiragizawa-san was quiet. He sat, looking defeated, head bowed. Tomoyo-chan went over to him and held his hand.

"I do not know, Sakura-san," the reincarnation of Clow Reed replied.

Silence crept and anxiety showered over us. After a while the doctor went out of the room and approached our group.

"Sumimasen. Are you Tsukishiro-san's family?" she asked me. Her face was so serious and she keeps fumbling with her stethoscope. For a doctor, she is quite young. But I had no time to notice other details about her, for I abruptly asked her how you are.

"We are his friends. His parents are out of the country." She nodded at my answer. 

"How is Yukito-san?" Sakura asked her, her green eyes almost begging the doctor to tell us he is alright.

He doctor's hand was shaking. I held my breath and waited for her reply.

"Had he…mentioned something different about his health lately?" she nervously asked. I think she expected us to strike her with something. I could have laughed out loud, had I not been extremely worried.

"No he hasn't. Is something wrong?"

The doctor did not even meet my eyes. "I will not feed you sugary words about his health." She straightened and looked around. "He has acquired pneumonia. But this his case is much more different."

I heard my imouto gasp. I stared. "What – do – you – mean?" I stammered. 

The doctor met my eyes. "Our medical skills cannot distinguish the cure for his illness. We tried the cure for the pneumonia we knew of, but I do not think it was effective."

I do not know how I reacted. I was oblivious to anything that happened. In the end, I sat down, stricken.

"Doctor, what will happen now?" Sakura had the courage to ask.

"To tell you the truth, even we doctors do not know. His illness is the first we have encountered. I am afraid that - that's why I am telling you right now."

I do not know what happened next. I heard Sakura cry, but I did not see anything, or anyone. I felt cold, and I drowned among the shadows I fear. 

~*~

I remember going to my bedroom and locking it. Inside I pondered. You were left in the hospital while the doctor called your parents. I think I had insisted on staying by your side, but the doctor said it wouldn't help because I cannot see you until tomorrow. I sat on my bed, still shocked. It all came too fast. 

You did not tell me.

I covered my face with my hands, cursing myself. I should have known you were sick! I had been playing blind and deaf to your symptoms. 

I jumped as I heard the window open. And that's when I saw an angelic creature enter my room: Yue.

I stood up. "How is Yukito?" 

"My false form is in bad condition," Yue said. He folded his feathers and fixed his silvery gaze on me.

"Then what are you doing here? You should make him rest!" I scolded. 

Yue closed his eyes. "Yukito and I are separated now."

His words hung in my mind. "Nani?"

"The very time Yukito fainted, I was flung away from his form. Right now, I am a wandering spirit." He sat on my bed, uninvited, and stared at me again.

Then I began to realize. If Yue wasn't in your body, then you will lose your own essence. For you are made out of Yue. With Yue separated, you will meet difficulties with your sickness.

"But, you have to come back to him!" I told Yue. "Otherwise, he will not exist! Go and merge with him now!" 

"I can't." I shuddered. This was the answer I fear to get.

"Why can't you?" I asked. All the while he was observing me, as if evaluating how I will react.

Yue sighed. "Do you think I am that cruel that I wouldn't try coming back to him? I tried, but I can't His sickness seemed to colonize every part of him, and it closed our connection." He paused and looked outside. "I know it worries you, but it worries me more. If Yukito dies, I have to look for another false form……"

I gripped Yue by his collar and forced him to stand up. Such conceited creature Sakura had unleashed. "That's what you think of Yuki? Just a false form?!" I want to beat the crap out of him, thinking that he is not in your body anymore so it is all right, but I controlled myself.

Yue pulled away. "Sorry." 

That was the first time I heard him apologize that I stood rooted to the spot.

He smoothed his hair. "I tried to help. But I can't. Magic is not enough to cure people. If it is his time, even the most powerful wizard cannot escape."

True.

Hearing those words was like swallowing a bitter concoction. My knees weakened as I sat down again.

Yue seemed to notice and his voice turned a bit – kinder. "All you could do is give him everything you have got and wait," he advised. Bowing a farewell, he flew out of my window. 

I fall back on my bed. The danger I had thought you were in were nothing compared to the real danger you were going to face. Closing my eyes to prevent my tears from coming, I prayed to my mother. To keep you safe.

~*~

"Yuki." You fluttered your eyes open. I was your last visitor for that day, and you greeted me with a smile. 

"To-ya. Sorry to make you worry….."

"It's all right," I cut in. I do not want to hear your excuses, all I care about is you being well. I laid a hand over yours as you closed your eyes.

"My other me is gone," I heard you whisper. I nodded. Thoughts, memories, all of them came coming back that I cannot help asking. I looked down on you.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

You just smiled. "I do not want to make you worry. I know that my sickness is incurable." I bit back tears as you spoke. "But all I wanted was to spend my last days with you. And I got what I wanted." 

I could see you were near tears too, but I kept silent. "Please…don't…leave…me," I choked.

You grasped my hand and gave it a weak squeeze. "I won't leave you. You know that. I am just – going off to a far away place."

"But how can I live…without…without you?" Even thoughts of you gone strain me that I let my tears fall.

You kept silent. I wept. You speak of going away as if you are sure that you will not be well again.

"I cannot find…another you. Please don't go." I frantically begged you not to speak of things such as dying for you are going to be well. 

You were not swayed. You laid back and closed your eyes. The excitement and sadness was too much for you. I continued to hold your hand, the only comfort I could offer at this moment. 

"You…could…always…find me," you whispered again. I looked up. I tried to humor you.

"If you go, no one will take care of me anymore," I joked. "I do not know how will I find…another you."

"You cannot find another me, because I am always here by your side. And do not worry about finding a new person who'll care for you. I'll find you one." Even in your pain, your eyes twinkled. Suddenly, you had a fit of coughs. I helped you control it and gasped as I saw blood dripping from your mouth. I wiped it carefully before settling you back on your pillow.

"Isn't there anything we can do? Sakura has magic she could let your illness disappear……" I know I was babbling nonsense, but I wanted to talk to you for as long as I can, just to keep you with me.

"Yuki…," You shook your head.

"I know you understand, To-ya. I don't want to hurt you, but this has to happen. I am sorry, for leaving you, for making you worry, for making you spend too much when….."

"Speak no more, please." You stopped talking. I accepted defeat. There was nothing else I could do. All I can do is make leaving easy for you. Tears continued to flow, but I ignored them. 

"You know I'm going to miss you." You smiled as I spoke.

"You won't. Because I will find another person for you." I smiled back, eyes watery. 

"Then how will I know it is whom you have chosen, Yuki?"

"I will be with that person." 

I thought you were hallucinating because of the illness, so I felt your forehead. You chuckled, but the chuckle ended in a cough.

"How will you be with that person?" I asked. He never failed to amuse me even if he is on his deathbed. 

"I will send a sign," you said cryptically. I did not think much of it because I was more worried of losing you. I'd rather not meet a hundred persons than lose you. I placed your hand against my cheek.

"Please take care of my obaa-san and ojii-san." You looked at me with your gray eyes. I nodded.

"And please tell Yue I am sorry I wasn't strong enough for him." I despised that thought of yours but I nodded anyway. 

"And To-ya," you said. I looked at you.

"What is it?"

"I left a letter in Eriol-kun's safekeeping. It contains all that is needed to be done after I go. Please always remember….." I bowed down to hear your words as you gasped for air. "……that you'll always be that special person in my heart."

Tears flowed anew, and I hugged you tightly. I whispered your name over and over, until the emotion was too much. I watched you sleep, until my eyes cannot hold the strain anymore. 

~*~

I laid flowers on your sleeping place. It had been two weeks since you left me, and I came here everyday since. I woke up that day and told me you were gone, and the world stopped for me. I had not spoken to anyone since your death. 

I felt that someone was watching me. Hiiragizawa-san walked up to your grave and laid flowers, too. I almost growled at him.

"You knew it all along," I grunted. He looked up at me. Without thinking I landed a punch on his face. "You knew all along he's gonna die! Why didn't you do anything.?!"

The wizard stood up again and straightened his glasses. "Because I could not do anything," he flatly replied.

"You could've told me!" I roared. Then he smiled, a smile other than his infamous one. A smile of pity.

"He wanted you to have this." He produced an envelope from his pocket. "He warned me not to tell you, in case you wanted to know. I wouldn't want to disobey him." With that, Hiiragizawa-san walked away, leaving me alone with your letter.

I read it. It contained your last will and some notes to your friends. I relayed them, and they cried with me, especially Sakura. I have done everything you have bade me to do in the letter.

Just like magic, my hourglass stopped moving. The sands do not flow anymore, and I was trapped. I was trapped inside a fantasy that you will come back. I cannot get out of it, and I do not want to get out.

~*~

Still, being in that world did not make me stop school. I still went to school, and on weekends, I went to the park and pondered, wondering when you will come back. 

A month after your leaving, I walked along the park. All of a sudden, your words came back.

"I will give you a sign….."

What does that mean? I know you are quite in your senses when you said that, so it must have weighed something. I decided to let it pass and challenge you silently on how you will keep your promise.

As I continued to walk, I saw a girl frantically looking around and under the bushes. She had dark hair and as I came closer, I discovered that has amber eyes. I decided to let it go and move my own way, but as she saw me, she ran towards me and clutched at my shirt.

"Please, I do not want to disturb you, but have you seen my rabbit anywhere?"

Rabbit? "Where did you lose it?" I was annoyed that I couldn't help helping this girl, but since I do not have anything to do, I plummeted into her problem as well.

"I lost it somewhere in the bushes." From the looks of it, she had cried enough. "Please help me," she pleaded again. "I just had him last month and I can't bear to lose him."

"Okay, okay. Just stop tugging at my shirt." Her amber eyes brightened as I consented and she almost hugged me.

"Oh thank you!" After much ado, we actually started to find that rabbit….Rabbits made me think of you. I shook off your thoughts as I searched every possible place.

I reached the King Penguin. This was the last place I could look into. I peered inside and unbelievably, there was a shock of white fur in it. I pulled it, and discovered there was a rabbit attached to the fur, which was its tail. I groped around to get it out. Fortunately, it was surprisingly tame, and I got it out easily.

"Oi!" I called the girl. She came running towards me. She cried with relief as she saw the rabbit.

"Oh thank goodness you are all right!" She hugged the rabbit tightly that I became worried it might stop breathing. She crooned to it and the rabbit wrinkled its nose in reply. 

The girl turned to me. "Thank you so much. I owe it to you."

"It's nothing," I said. She bowed and walked away, but then my voice automatically called her.

"Oi." She looked back, annoyed.

"I have a name if you please and it's Keiko." She faked a pout and I can't help but tease her. "What is it anyway?"

I searched for words to say but I don't even know why I called her back. "Well, I just wanted to know your number, in case I wanted to have payment for finding the rabbit." The words tumbled out of my mouth.

Luckily, she didn't seem angry. "You are pretty smooth, are you?" she asked coyly. 

I held up my hands in defense. "Business only!" 

And then

I laughed

For the first time since your death

After introductions (her name was Mihari Keiko) we found out much about each other. She was our schoolmate. I also told her about you. I was a bit surprised myself because I rarely talk to stranger about my personal life. She seemed to understand and always comforted me. I was not ashamed when I cried as we talked about you, in turn, she didn't mind.

At school, she always accompanied me around. She always asks if I am okay. If you were here, Yuki, I might have said she's a better nurse than you are. She was like an angel of comfort, who had come to save me from the shadows of the past.

It had been only three months, but for me I think you have been gone for so long. Luckily, someone wipes off too much pain. My angel always makes sure I face the day right. We are in good terms, and she is like a friend to me. 

I hope you are glad that I am did not pine away in sorrow. I take this opportunity to thank you for what you have made me. You are special to my heart, too. 

There, I must end my letter now. I will always tell you what is going on, and you are in my prayers. Although, I haven't figured out yet what you meant by your sign. I guess I was hallucinating when I thought you said it. Funny it kept me awake for too many nights now.

I must say goodbye for now. Take care up there, and don't worry, I am taking care of myself and your grandparents and your friends. 

Until we meet again.

Forever,

Touya

~*~

Touya slowly folded the letter and slid it back in the envelope. He got out a lighter and placed the fire at the corner of the envelope. It burned quickly and its smoke curled upwards to the heavens.

"May you get this soon, my friend," Touya whispered. Suddenly, his thought averted again to Yuki's sign. Truly, this sign thing was making him think really hard for no reason at all. 

"Touya-kun," a voice said. Touya looked around and saw Keiko near the door, holding her rabbit. "We were supposed to go to your house, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Watching the last traces of smoke drift away, Touya turned his heels and walked towards Keiko. 

As they went down the stairs, Keiko's rabbit suddenly jumped onto Touya's arms.

"He seemed to like you a lot," Keiko giggled. Touya scratched the rabbit under its chin. A thought hit him then. He turned to his companion.

"Keiko-chan, we have been friends for two months and you haven't told me what your rabbit's name is." He held out the rabbit for Keiko to cradle and she cuddled it before pondering on his inquiry.

"Oh really? I didn't?" She smiled. "His name is Yuki. Cute isn't it?"

Touya stopped walking.

"Nani, Touya-kun?" Keiko's eyes probed his.

"Nothing. Let's go."

He knew.

And then, there was the sign.

^OWARI^

Nikki: Gah….i made this in a hurry but I plan to edit it. Please do not flame me for not strengthening the Yukito/Touya relationship. Besides, I am not that good in angst. Anyway, hope I got a tear out of you. Thank you for reading. Jaa nee!


End file.
